The Fundamental Principal of Success

I believe there is one fundamental principle, one defining personal trait, that determines success above all others.  Hatred.  The power of hate is what drives all great men.  George Washington hated monarchy, Gandhi hated India’s colonial rulers, Churchill hated the Nazis, and I hate clutter (and Nazis).  

Forget ambition, willpower, love, or gravity; hatred is the most powerful force in the universe.  A deep disdain for darkness is what causes the sun to rise each day.  Birds sing because of their loathing for silence.  Even cats are powered by vitriol; the only reason they look so damn cute is because they abhor ugliness.

The moon landing is one of the greatest examples of this principle in action.  It wasn’t science, determination, or an inflated patriotic sense of duty that drove us 10 million miles to the moon.  It was a pure and utter hatred for communism.  Why haven’t we been back to the moon since?  Simple, the communists are gone, and thus, so is our driving force.

My Own Journey

These days I’m consumed by a limitless rancor towards everything from kittens to dinette sets, but I wasn’t always so enlightened.  As a young man of six years I was blissfully unaware of the dangers posed by materialism.  It all changed when my brother turned five.

For his 5th birthday my younger brother received all manner of glitzy toys – an action figure, a deck of cards, and a pair of socks.  As he played with them I realized that his mind had been taken over by these possessions.  He was totally unconcerned with truly valuable pursuits like contemplation and introspection.

Incensed by the wanton celebration of objects I began to slowly destroy all of the toys that gave him false happiness.  The action figure got mangled in the garbage disposal, the cards flushed, and the socks went up in flames.  He was heartbroken of course, but it was actually a step towards true happiness.  

Many might think that it was an undying love for my brother that led me on this campaign of selfless destruction.  Yes, I certainly loved him, but love is a byproduct of hate.  In this case, it arose from my hatred of seeing him suffer at the hands of his possessions.

Even though my brothers days of existential suffering were ending, my own suffering had just begun.  When my parents pieced everything together my butt became the first martyr for the nascent minimalist movement.  I took it in stride of course, and resolved to be more helpful to everyone I knew by destroying the possessions that enslaved them.  

Since then that budding flame has grown into a great inferno.  I’m consumed by a hatred for materialism, clutter, fast food, and the damn GPS app that interrupts my music every ten seconds, even though I know where I am.  This hatred is what drives my love of helping people, through philanthropic destruction and relentless mocking.

How to Cultivate Hatred In Your Life

To do great things you must cultivate hate in your own life.  The environmentalist might focus on his hatred of polluters, or the cook might focus on his hatred of burned meat.  This will get you part of the way, but to truly kindle a driving passion you need to sow anger into all aspects of your life.

Growl in the morning

Its pretty simple.  Wake up, and growl.  If it helps you can think about something that makes you angry, but it’s not important.  The key is to get your physical body to express anger, your mind will follow.  

This exercise helps jump start your day with a small dose of rage, which is perfect for productivity.  Feel free to get carried away.  Use the full range of vocal and facial expressions.  My wife often says I sound like a starving pit bull with a sinus infection fighting a vacuum.  Sometimes she even gets hit by spittle, which means it’s going to be a good day.

Glare Angrily at Little Children

At the grocery store, at weddings, anytime a kid is staring at you show your angry gargoyle face.  Focus on making your expression as mean and horrific as possible.  Lots of teeth, angry eyes, and twisted fingers. You might consider practicing in the mirror, or even on your own kids.  

Keep a Fault List

Create a list of everyone you know and use it to document all of their shortcomings.  Include everything you can think of that makes you angry.  It can even be trivial things, like if an outfit that didn’t match, or the one time they used the dessert fork during the main course.  

Update the list often and read it everyday.  Use it to grow and maintain the hatred you have for each person on the list.  I keep my wife and kids near the top of the list, since those are the entries I have to update the most.  Especially my son Timmy, what a little brat.

Listen to Angry Music

If you truly want to be angry you need to assault your ears with anger throughout the day.  I play loud angry music in the car, at work, and at home.  As far as options go I recommend the following genres:  

  • “Sounds of Immolation” (traditional Buddhist chanting, only the monks have lit themselves on fire)
  • “Slaughterhouse Metal”, (recordings from a factory farm slaughterhouse with David Attenborough narrating each death)
  • “Mouse-core” (amplified sounds of live mice being eaten by a snake, with classical music in the background)

Make a List of Things You Don’t Hate

Counter-intuitive, yes, but keep it small and very detailed.  This lets people know that you hate most things.  My list is below.

Things Julian Doesn’t Hate

(Note how small the list is)

  1. Seeing a little kid in a grocery store throwing a huge tantrum because he wants a treat.  
  2. Smashing a big screen TV with an axe.
  3. Buying a nice water bottle, using it once, then throwing it away.
  4. Burning throw pillows that are embroidered with stupid phrases like “Live, Laugh, Love”.
  5. Throwing recyclables into the trash, especially when the recycling can is right next to it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s